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This period signifies a ten-year milestone since the term “vanishing” hit the common lexicon. Initially, the concept that someone could abruptly cease all contact with a romantic interest without a word seemed like the peak of indignity. How naive we were. In the decade since, navigating toward a mate has only become more confounding – an oftentimes unsuccessful pursuit in awkwardness that is increasingly defined by social media jargon.

Zoomers, a demographic who came of age during a social isolation epidemic, a male identity crisis, and a widespread attack on the rights of women and the queer community, faces a infinitely more complex terrain than their millennial elders could ever imagine. And so their dating vocabulary has grown longer and more unhinged, with expressions like “Ogre-ing” and “monkey branching” testing the boundaries of your sanity.

The following list is a extensive glossary to the phrases gen Z is using to talk about love, sex and the pursuit of both. To paraphrase one of the recent most enduring online sayings, by the end of this glossary you’ll ache to get back to God’s country – because wherever that is, it doesn’t have “wokefishing”.

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A

Authenticity – For gen Z, dating’s ideal is presenting as your true, unvarnished self. You'll need it with that!

B

Bird theory – A online phenomenon connected to a framework developed by couples researchers, in which you point out something insignificant – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and pay attention to whether your partner’s reaction is inquisitive or dismissive. If they do not want to hear more about the bird, you two are headed for splitsville.

Black cat girlfriend – Zoomers' rebuttal to the “manic pixie dream girl” archetype of the early 2000s – but rather than having short fringe, liking indie music and avoiding commitment, the mysterious partner puts herself first while exuding enigma and self-sufficiency. (She could possibly have that fringe.)

The Letter C

Support test – This signifies choosing someone who supports you without being asked. If you walked into a room, they would get a seat for you to take a load off.

Errand romance – A date where two people connect while running errands, such as walking the dog or grocery shopping. In other words, how broke twentysomethings do affordable dating in a post-cheap-date world.

Melting down – Losing it when you feel burdened by life. You can crash out over a infatuation or breakup, spilling all of your unreciprocated feelings.

The Letter D

Dink – Double income, no kids. Once a marker of 1980s young urban professional affluence, it describes couples who choose against having children to focus on their own well-being. Or because they cannot afford to become parents.

E

Vulnerable signaling – The opposite of acting aloof: practicing communication, transparency and openness.

The Letter F

Indicators

• Red flags – Personal quirks indicating a potential partner is bad news. For instance calling their former partners crazy, bad tipping habits, a fondness for Woody Allen films, a new DJ career …
• Positive signs – These actions validate your decision to pursue a mate. For instance following up to make sure you got home safe after a date, minimal phone use, having a proper bed …
• Odd but harmless traits – These usually describe specific, mostly benign quirks. Examples include being an enthusiastic ornithologist, still carrying around a pen in their purse, paying the rent in physical money …

Niche bonding – When you find someone who’s just as passionate about documentaries about the second world war or DVD collecting or art or anything it may be, as you. Or, conversely, meeting someone who despises the same stuff or people that you do (nothing fosters closeness faster than sharing a nemesis).

The Letter G

Geese – A band a typical Zoomer guy is into.

Zombie-ing – Someone who reappears into your life after a length of ghosting.

Loyal boyfriend – Someone who is affable, eager to please and loyal. The uncommon boyfriend who is liked by all of his partner’s friends, and a mysterious partner's foil.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A primarily online community of men so preoccupied with self-pleasure that they attempt lengthy sessions, intentionally delaying orgasm so they can continue as long as possible.

The Letter H

Pessimistic straight dating – A phenomenon describing many women’s increasing cynicism toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as little surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.

Traditional ideal woman – An archetype touted by manosphere figures: a woman who is attractive, nurturing and happily home-oriented, who seemingly has no aspirations of her own other than satisfying her man partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to see the whole “pessimism” thing better?

The Letter I

Turn-offs – Arbitrary and often mundane dealbreakers that instantly shut down any feelings of desire.

“If he wanted to, he would" – Something to keep in mind after you watch someone else receive an incredibly romantic gesture.

J

Professions – These have not been this important in the dating scene since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “finance bro” is the ultimate partner: a preppy, conservative-leaning guy who will provide (there’s a popular TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd prefer partners in fields they see as being staffed by the more caring among us: healthcare workers, educators or therapists.

K

Making out – This year, researchers learned that kissing has existed for 16m years. But the days of kissing may be limited since some Zoomers desire fewer intimate scenes in film, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find onscreen intimacy authentic.

Light catfishing – Slight exaggeration. Or, not exactly lying about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) pictures of yourself on a online profile, or making your job sound more prestigious than it is. Also known as {